Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize