Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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