Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
