If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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