Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
