The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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