NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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