she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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