yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
