so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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