How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize