You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
