yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
