dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
