i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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