jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God