Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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