Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
