All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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