He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
These tits shall not be calmed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
