I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
