I'm going to jail i love you
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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