I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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