I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
