The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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