He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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