I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
