My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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