Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
