I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
FUCK WHALES
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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