I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
