S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
