Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
