rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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