i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
