where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
