Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize