Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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