piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize