i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
