Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
