I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
