Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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