I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
