Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
