He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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