How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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