32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
