***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Where is the hickey?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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