I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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