I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
