I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize