after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
