you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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