he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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