I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
