It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
