Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
