D3 body, D1 cock
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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