i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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