Will you blow on my dice?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
