Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I party with great urgency now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize