she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
