Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
