you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
